Baldrick: ...and I've nearly finished the Christmas cards.
Ebenezer: [taking off his tall hat] Oh, splendid! Let me see...
[opens up a card he has picked up from the desk]
"A Very Messy Christmas." I'm sorry, Mr Baldrick -- shouldn't that be `merry'?
Baldrick: "A Merry Messy Christmas"? All right, but the main thing is that it should be messy -- messy cake; soggy pudding; great big wet kisses under the mistletoe...
Ebenezer: Yes... [going to hang up his coat and scarf] I fear, Mr Baldrick, that the only way you're likely to get a big wet kiss at Christmas -- or, indeed, any other time -- is to make a pass at a water closet.
However, be that as it may... [Baldrick gives him the card again] "A Merry Messy Christmas." `Christmas' as an H in it, Mr Baldrick.
Baldrick: Oh...
Ebenezer: ...and an R. Also an I, and an S. Also T and M and A... ...and another S. Oh, and you've missed out the C at the beginning. Congratulations, Mr Baldrick! Something of a triumph, I think -- you must be the first person ever to spell `Christmas' without getting any of the letters right at all.
