No people live longer than the documentation of their culture. -- Ahnenerbe
Be not inhospitable to strangers lest they be angels in disguise. --A Nonny Moose
'By God I will not be buried in Westminster. They do bury fools there.' -- Godfrey Kneller
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. --HP Lovecraft
As per the historical accuracy of Henry V's St. Crispin's Day speech: King Henry V spoke in didatic hexameter?
Family feud ways to kill a vampire: 1. Stake 2. Silver bullet 3. Sunlight 4. Fire 5. Other vampires 6. Your mother 7. Werewolf 8. Decapitation
How many silly bulls does it take to win at charades?
Summary of Phantom of the Opera: boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy murders girl's coworkers to try and win her back with disasterous results. Hilarity ensues.
Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas
Irish police officers aren't racist. Drunken Irish potatoes dressed like police officers are racist
A screwdriver walks into a bar and orders itself.
As Jesus is a Rabbi, I feel he would appreciate hearing some Hanukkah songs instead of songs about himself, as he really is too modest for that sort of thing.
"Crossed the equator. In the distance it looked like a blue ribbon stretched across the ocean. Several passengers kodak'd it."-- Mark Twain, _Following the Equator
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." -- Sir Terry Pratchett
Does anyone know who Current Resident is? I keep getting his mail.
Shaking a polaroid picture... Turns out it is a photo of an etch-a-sketch on which is written: IRONIC
Cartoon crossover idea: the Brave Little Toaster and its friends meet the characters of Toy Story
Based On The Fact That The Autobots Are The Pure Logical Good Police Force That Cannot Survive Without The Matrix; And The Decepticons Are The Intelligent Matrix-free Robots; It Only Follows, That The Leader Of The Decepticons Should Be.... Bender.
Marriage is the vaccine for cooties
The Sun is like my best friend today. It's all shiny and bright and following me home. He gets up in my face and says, 'Hi, buddy! Have some Vitamin D!" And I am all like, 'No! Go away!'
"Maybe the Italians can live happily on the slopes of Vesuvius, but I am not that sort of person." --William Sloane
"Verrazzano first set foot in New York near the place where the Staten Island Ferry now lands. Thousands of New Yorkers who live on Staten Island but work in Manhattan--also jokingly referred to as 'the boat people'-- land at this same spot every day." -- Evan T. Pritchard, Native New Yorkers